This weekend, Wade and I (aka Team Stumblebum) completed the Urban Assault Ride here in Denver, a 25-ish mile bike race that is really a scavenger hunt for locations to complete obstacles that are really just an excuse to be silly all day long http://www.urbanassaultride.com/. We volunteered all day the day before by helping with registration packet pickup so that we could do the race for free (score!!!). The day of the race was super fun as we scampered from place to place facing silly challenges like a downhill slip and slide, mini-trike race, and finding three different cans of beer in a pool full of beer cans. The ride itself was no joke -- we accidentally chose the almost-entirely-uphill route -- but was still pretty mellow.
I'm winding up my last week here and, let me tell you, I am not ready for it to end. I'm excited to be coming back home to friends and family and my bed and shoe variety, but there are so many reasons why I don't want to leave:
1. The weather. It is perfect, even though it is very hot and a little humid lately. The sun blasts down every day until the afternoon showers roll in (and force me back inside to get work done). The evenings are warm, but often with a nice cool breeze.
2. The flowers. Wildflowers are everywhere here, usually in overgrown patches along the sidewalks or on the sloping lawns in front of houses. Those patches are full of lilies, columbines, snapdragons, roses, daisies, hollyhocks and more.
3. The bike rides. The weather is always perfect for a bike ride. The slopes are hardly ever too steep and if they are too steep, they are brief. The view is always nice and overall the drivers are nice too.
4. The hottie. Without really trying, I began dating someone here. He's super sweet and smart and gorgeous. I will miss him.
5. The mangoes. At first, they were 10 for $10. Now they're 2 for $1. At those prices, I could nap in a tub full of mango meat. But instead, I've been eating them. Lots of them. With delicious yogurt. Mmmm.
6. The best buddy. I realized something big this summer and here it is: There is no one on this earth with whom I feel more comfortable with than my best buddy, Wade. He has been my bestie for 20 years and knows more about me than anyone ever has or probably ever will. He's a great long-distance friend and always has been --we always stay in close touch, no matter which time zone or country we're living in, even in the long-lost era when long distance phone calls and letters stuffed full of pictures were the only way to keep updated. But, logistically, it's been years since we've been so close for so long. I could write forever about how great it has been to be around for the day-to-day. I'm so happy that I could make his trip happen, especially because we are in a time of our lives when both us us really needed this kind of friend-therapy. It has been truly perfect, every day.
So, instead of giving into this feeling of sadness that it is ending, I am just going to focus on how grateful I am that this time was possible. Sighhhhhh.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Sitting down
I just got off the phone with a great friend. After giving her the run-down of the past week's fun and funkiness, she reminded me of the practice of flowing. She spoke of the human need to control things and of the impossibility of doing so all the time. Sometimes, things will emerge out of the changed forms of other things, and we have no way of knowing or even guessing how it will look or be.
Every time I speak with this friend, the conversation leads her to speak some little nugget of wisdom. The last time, as we were talking about being too hard on ourselves most of the time, she said, "I want to treat myself like I treat a lover," and this notion sent me reeling for weeks as I realized how thoughtful, forgiving, and kind I am to my lovers and as I tried to figure out how to be the same way with myself. That last nugget of wisdom just might have changed my whole life. And the nugget she gave me today might be equally as important to my life. It was this:
"Sometimes you just have to sit down without knowing whether there's a chair there behind you."
Phew. The idea is, I think, to trust that the chair is there (who was it who said, "Leap, and the net will appear"?), but I also see that it's not such a big deal if it isn't there. Yeah, you'll fall on the floor and if anyone is nearby, they'll have to quiet their instinct to laugh at you as they offer you a hand to help you get up (and anyone far enough away will not quiet their instinct and will laugh at your fumble). So what?
Last week, Wade and I went to a place called JUMP STREETS, which is basically a huge trampoline room for kids. We were, by far, the oldest people there and we were bouncing around like kangaroos. I was practicing front flips and working up the nerve to try backflips. When I did try them, it was fun, even though I never quite landed them. But Wade would do this silly thing of jumping up really high with a huge goofy grin on his face and then landing as if he were sitting (like landing in a pike, I guess) and then bouncing back up to standing. In essence, he was sitting in a place where there was no chair.
Of all the moves I tried that day (including bouncing off the wall-mounted trampoline, head flips and the aforementioned backflip), the chair-sit move was the hardest to try. Obviously, I knew I was safe, and that I'd have no choice but to land on the trampoline and bounce back up. But there was some mental blockage against sitting down with no chair behind me.
Of course, I eventually tried it. And of course I laughed the whole time. The first time, I think I bounced up and fell forward onto my face (or, at least, I imagine it that way because I like slapstick). The second time I tried it I landed back up on my feet. And then, before long, it was like nothing. This is probably one of the first moves they teach in gymnastics classes (or whatever kind of class it is that takes place on a trampoline), but for me, it was the one that invoked the most fear. I don't even know what I was afraid of; I was just afraid. But, it turned out to be super easy and very fun.
So, as I apply my friend's nugget of wisdom, I'm going to imagine my whole life taking place in a trampoline. It's a place where my skips, trips and falls are met with a bouncy surface that pops me back up again. It's a place where -- with a little bit of common sense, caution, nerve and cardio endurance -- my attempts to practice old moves or try new ones are rewarded with giggles and soft landings. It's a place where I can sit down without knowing if there's a chair behind me and discover what's ready to be discovered.
Every time I speak with this friend, the conversation leads her to speak some little nugget of wisdom. The last time, as we were talking about being too hard on ourselves most of the time, she said, "I want to treat myself like I treat a lover," and this notion sent me reeling for weeks as I realized how thoughtful, forgiving, and kind I am to my lovers and as I tried to figure out how to be the same way with myself. That last nugget of wisdom just might have changed my whole life. And the nugget she gave me today might be equally as important to my life. It was this:
"Sometimes you just have to sit down without knowing whether there's a chair there behind you."
Phew. The idea is, I think, to trust that the chair is there (who was it who said, "Leap, and the net will appear"?), but I also see that it's not such a big deal if it isn't there. Yeah, you'll fall on the floor and if anyone is nearby, they'll have to quiet their instinct to laugh at you as they offer you a hand to help you get up (and anyone far enough away will not quiet their instinct and will laugh at your fumble). So what?
Last week, Wade and I went to a place called JUMP STREETS, which is basically a huge trampoline room for kids. We were, by far, the oldest people there and we were bouncing around like kangaroos. I was practicing front flips and working up the nerve to try backflips. When I did try them, it was fun, even though I never quite landed them. But Wade would do this silly thing of jumping up really high with a huge goofy grin on his face and then landing as if he were sitting (like landing in a pike, I guess) and then bouncing back up to standing. In essence, he was sitting in a place where there was no chair.
Of all the moves I tried that day (including bouncing off the wall-mounted trampoline, head flips and the aforementioned backflip), the chair-sit move was the hardest to try. Obviously, I knew I was safe, and that I'd have no choice but to land on the trampoline and bounce back up. But there was some mental blockage against sitting down with no chair behind me.
Of course, I eventually tried it. And of course I laughed the whole time. The first time, I think I bounced up and fell forward onto my face (or, at least, I imagine it that way because I like slapstick). The second time I tried it I landed back up on my feet. And then, before long, it was like nothing. This is probably one of the first moves they teach in gymnastics classes (or whatever kind of class it is that takes place on a trampoline), but for me, it was the one that invoked the most fear. I don't even know what I was afraid of; I was just afraid. But, it turned out to be super easy and very fun.
So, as I apply my friend's nugget of wisdom, I'm going to imagine my whole life taking place in a trampoline. It's a place where my skips, trips and falls are met with a bouncy surface that pops me back up again. It's a place where -- with a little bit of common sense, caution, nerve and cardio endurance -- my attempts to practice old moves or try new ones are rewarded with giggles and soft landings. It's a place where I can sit down without knowing if there's a chair behind me and discover what's ready to be discovered.
The Elephant in the Room
So, life in Denver has been sooo good that I'm not quite ready to come back yet. But, nonetheless, original plans move forward and I'll be back in just over a week. We've been keeping busy, though its tough to remember all of what we've been up to. Lots of bike rides, trips to the farmer's market, yummy at-home meals, lots of laughing and other fun.
Though I've been keeping busy with my own work, when I get back to Brooklyn, things will pick up speed and the vacation-style of working won't cut it anymore. So it's pretty easy to see why I'm hesitant to come home. But then things from home started creeping in on me....reminding me that I am, in fact, going back soon and that things are going to be quite a bit different when I do.
I had already known that a large number of my closest friends in BK are planning to move away between now and October. And I was preparing for the void that will be left when they go. Then yesterday, I learned of two more families really important to me who are planning to move away; one family is leaving as soon as September, the other within the next year or two. The void just got so much bigger.
But for some reason, I'm not freaking out about it. I am sad, of course, and will miss all of the people I love, but I am also curious about what can happen in the midst of this much change happening all at once. I'm not only excited for me, but for all of my friends who are heading off to new adventures. Normally, I am terrified of things changing. But the past year has taught me that sometimes things have to fall completely apart in order for anything at all to come together. In my life's history, I've always been the one leaving or moving, never the one left behind. So now that the tables are turned, what else is there to do but to pull my chair in closer and see what's good on this side?
Though I've been keeping busy with my own work, when I get back to Brooklyn, things will pick up speed and the vacation-style of working won't cut it anymore. So it's pretty easy to see why I'm hesitant to come home. But then things from home started creeping in on me....reminding me that I am, in fact, going back soon and that things are going to be quite a bit different when I do.
I had already known that a large number of my closest friends in BK are planning to move away between now and October. And I was preparing for the void that will be left when they go. Then yesterday, I learned of two more families really important to me who are planning to move away; one family is leaving as soon as September, the other within the next year or two. The void just got so much bigger.
But for some reason, I'm not freaking out about it. I am sad, of course, and will miss all of the people I love, but I am also curious about what can happen in the midst of this much change happening all at once. I'm not only excited for me, but for all of my friends who are heading off to new adventures. Normally, I am terrified of things changing. But the past year has taught me that sometimes things have to fall completely apart in order for anything at all to come together. In my life's history, I've always been the one leaving or moving, never the one left behind. So now that the tables are turned, what else is there to do but to pull my chair in closer and see what's good on this side?
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Noosa Alert!
So, things have picked up speed here in Denver and I haven't made much time to update here. We've been staying busy enjoying all of the free and low cost experiences that Denver has to offer. Last weekend we went to the First Fridays art walk and First Saturday at the Denver Art Museum. On Sunday we took a super long bike ride from park to park to pool to park again, with a frisbee/cartwheel break in between.
This weekend we took a short hike up to Bridal Veil Falls, a thin but fast-moving 20 foot tall waterfall that runs between two slick rock faces. The whole hike was beautiful; within each mile, the terrain switches, going from meadow-y open spaces to forest glen to river-side meandering to a craggy uphill path to a boulder hopping finish. On the way back, we watched a storm roll in behind us and were cooled by its drizzles.
The drive to this trailhead passes by The Stanley Hotel, which is where The Shining was filmed. Next weekend, we're going to watch the movie and then visit the hotel ----- spoooooky times!!!
The other discovery of epic proportions is our discovery of the most delicious yogurt ever made in the history of the universe. It's called Noosa, is Australian style and made fresh here in Colorado. We picked up a huge batch from the farmer's market this weekend. It tastes like creme-fraiche and whipped cream swirled together and when topped with mango, cherries, and strawberries, it is the yummiest summer dessert I've ever had. Long live the Noosa!! All hail the Noosa!!!
This weekend we took a short hike up to Bridal Veil Falls, a thin but fast-moving 20 foot tall waterfall that runs between two slick rock faces. The whole hike was beautiful; within each mile, the terrain switches, going from meadow-y open spaces to forest glen to river-side meandering to a craggy uphill path to a boulder hopping finish. On the way back, we watched a storm roll in behind us and were cooled by its drizzles.
The drive to this trailhead passes by The Stanley Hotel, which is where The Shining was filmed. Next weekend, we're going to watch the movie and then visit the hotel ----- spoooooky times!!!
The other discovery of epic proportions is our discovery of the most delicious yogurt ever made in the history of the universe. It's called Noosa, is Australian style and made fresh here in Colorado. We picked up a huge batch from the farmer's market this weekend. It tastes like creme-fraiche and whipped cream swirled together and when topped with mango, cherries, and strawberries, it is the yummiest summer dessert I've ever had. Long live the Noosa!! All hail the Noosa!!!
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